A FEW NOTABLE PROJECTS
FROM INITIAL DIRECTIVE to..."CREATIVE STRATEGY" then to a cringey Why did I do that ?
Promo for the international release of the True Crime Documentary Series EXECUTED with Deborah Norville.
NO SPOILERS HERE...We all know how it ends
Coz we all know music videos are all about the Music and not the gratuitous visuals.
Directed and Edited for Danish band " THE HORRORPOS"
LETS DISCO! AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, ADD A LOT OF EXTRA EDITS
A Micro Doc I shot and Edited about LA's Legendary Rockabilly Label : WILD RECORDS!
WE DON'T JUST LISTEN TO ROCKABILLY
WE ARE ROCKABILLY!
Welcome to the Goth party! Grab your Absynthe and Cloves and let your mascara run!
DIrected and Edited (and VXF) for
Artist- MARCO CUSATO (CHILE)
SLEASZY RIDER RECORDS EU
GETTING ARTSY AND OH SO DARK!
CLIENT: We have footage an influencer shot with our product, We wanna use it for a campaign promo we want you to create.
ME: Great! How am I getting the camera files?
CLIENT: I'll text them to you.
ME: Text?
CLIENT: That's all he sent us
ME: Um...Hold my beer
Ya don't need no stinkin' Cinema Camera!
Specially when She's lookin for the "Right thing to wear"
Story on LA Vintage shop "MY BABY JO"
MAN CODE 101- STAY OUT OF THE DAMN WAY!
CLIENT: We need a professional promo to promote our content at a meeting
ME: what's the goal and target audience
CLIENT: Let's advertise we're smut peddlers without advertising we're smut peddlers.
ME: you realize people aren't that naive
CLIENT: but they got money
ME: caching!
YES I'M AN EXPERT AT MAKING CORPORATE SALES VIDEOS
Hollywood Hot-Rods...Here's where they make em!
Hey MAN..Nice HOT ROD! Can I TOUCH IT?
This is proof that there's an audience for anyting
The Y2K's were...um weird
CLIENT: Let's do something that exploits stereotypes.
ME: Again?
once you go...YOU CAN'T GO BACK
CLIENT: We need to promote our X content in a SFW platform..But we keep getting strikes.. How hard is it to sell Pussy?
Me: Kittens!
CLIENT: huh?
Me: My cat is the biggest Perv..let me ask him
My CAT is A PERV
CLIENT: We bought several containers at auction with life-sized mannequins from China. We have a great idea of how to sell them at a profit.
ME: how big? Like for a department store?
CLIENT: Yes,, except these are lightweight, so you can lug them around like a doll, and are anatomically accurate! They look like supermodels!
ME: So what do you want from me?
CLIENT: We want you to make up a commercial so we can sell them to people who want to date models. Or the next best thing.
ME: for starters, I'll need one of those to research along with a bottle of Jameson's and a tub of automotive grease
When your talent is a "supermodel" off TEMU
CLIENT: We have a way for French kinky parents to watch their sexy videos without the rest of the family knowing
ME: How does that work?
CLIENT: we'll give them the option to put a pin on certain channels
ME: You know.. kids can hack into anything nowadays
CLIENT: doesn't matter..we're complying with cable operator requirements to keep kids safe
ME: I don't think we even need that.. I don't know anyone under 40 that watches cable TV
SOLUTIONS for A NON-PROBLEM
DIRECTIVE: Everyone loves Monkeys! Lets Use one to promote a channel that'll entice viewers to "spank the monkey"
ME: I love Bananas
Oh HAL...you naughty Chimp
ROMANTICAL AND TENDER
CLIENT: We need to rebrand. The XXX Stigma is not good for business in conservative markets
US: But..that's what your programming is,, It's people having sex in movies.
CLIENT: " couples friendly consensual inclusive Erotica" is a much more acceptable term with the woke crowd. How do we get on that bandwagon
US: Well..for starters we gotta make it look like classy hanky panky to call it Erotica
..so we're gonna need a promo featuring:
-A British Female voiceover...coz y'know anything in that accent is kinda classy.
-Put some shots of couples making out in fancy places like those Airbnb's on Instagram
-Candles..lots of candles and big bathtubs..like a romantic hourly Motel
-People in Soft sweaters and pretty Lingerie..hopefully with the tags still on. So they can be returned afterward coz that stuff is expensive.
-Silky blindfolds, Strawberries and dessert, accompanied by a bubble bath.
CLIENT: Perfect..lets send out some promos with that Artsy erotic stuff, then once the contracts are signed, transfer all the content from "blowbang sluts" to the new Programming schedul
DIRECTIVE : We want our Channel to say "We're classy and sophisticated"
ME: We;'ll I used to know this guy that was a sleazebag..but he was European, so people didn't seem t mind...y know old country charm
CLIENT- That's it! lets use that angle! But we also gotta rebadge it.. make it the "Luxcury Brand"
ME: SMH